Hi! Welcome to my nutty world. I'm a working professional and mother. I have weathered a divorce and a failure of another LTR (well, not a complete failure... I got beautiful, amazing kids out of it).
This story (unfortunately or not so unfortunately?) spans about a decade of my life. Lucky for you, readers, this has given me gobs and gobs of RICH material on which to draw. Buckle up! I promise it will be worth it.
In 2005, as a freshly divorced 20-something living in a major city, I wasn't really sure where to meet people. I was getting a little too old for the bar trawl and subsequent morning walks of shame (been there, done that, got some guys' tshirts). I'm scientifically minded, so I looked into joining eHarmony. This site apparently matches you on 50+ personality dimensions. Well, the matchy thing must have been smoking something that day! I probably met about 5-10 people over the course of eight months. It's been so long since then that the gory details escape me, but my single friends would sit and regale stories about our dating experiences, and I never had any shortage of laughs! I eventually met the father of my kids through eHarmony, which was funny, because we are polar opposites. We managed to make it work for a little while, but forever was not meant to be.
About two years ago, I found myself single yet again. Meeting someone in your 20s is a cakewalk compared to dating in your 30s (especially with kids in tow!) and trying to find someone who fits into ALL of your lives! As I write this, my kids have never met someone I've dated. That tells you that I'm cautious, but also that I'm not having much luck out there finding a good catch in the online dating sea. Don't get me wrong, I've gotten plenty of interest and gone on plenty of dates, but seem to meet more Mr. Wrongs than Mr. Rights. I've also met Mr. Delusionals, Mr. Clingers, Mr. Hit and Runs, Mr. Weirdos, Mr. Noncommittals. Lucky me, right?
Look, I know I'm not perfect, but the more I see what's out there (or not out there), the more inclined I am to be TOTALLY OK with staying in and having a weekend date with Mr. Netflix. He always lets me pick the movie! I'm sad to say that when I was in my 20s, I was really depressed and sad about this scenario. I like to think I've gotten more selective about people I choose to meet in person, but the fact is, sometimes you don't get to see the full picture without meeting them first. Sometimes people just aren't what you expect. That being said... I can't really control who contacts me online, regardless of what my profile says, and lately that runs the gamut from 19 year olds (I could be your mother!) to 50 year olds (Dude, really? You could be my dad. And NO, I didn't mean *that* kind of daddy). It's amusing, to say the least.
So, dear readers, this is me going the way of the Honey Badger. You know, I don't give a shhh. If I'm going to be subjected to the weird, funny, sometimes psycho world of online dating, why not share it with you? I need you to be a little creative with me for a sec. Close your eyes and picture all of the weird shit you might see in those traveling circus freak shows. Cue the creepy carney music. Ok. Got it?
"Laaaaadies and Gentlemen! Step right up. You will be shocked. You will laugh. You might want to cry. Behold, the spectacle of the Onliiiiine Dating Scene!"
Disclaimer: Names will be changed to protect the innocent. I'm using the word innocent lightly here.
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