I'm BAAAAACK!

Hey, readers! Guess what, I'm back! 

If you're friends with me IRL, you probably know why I was gone. I met someone (online) who I thought was worth my time, but it turns out that I was wrong. He shall be named Mr. Dipshit. At least I discovered that before I wasted too much time on him. Bygones.

Sooo... I have started to ease my way back into the online dating pool. I *thought* I didn't have much to share with you yet... but I was mistaken!!

Somewhere along the line I added message filters on OkStupid. If someone sends me a message and it doesn't match my preferences (age, distance, blah blah blah), it goes into a filtered messages folder. I usually use the OkStupid app on my phone, where I can't even access any of the filtered messages. I had no idea they were there all this time. But lo and behold, I recently logged on to the website and there were 118 filtered messages. ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTEEN WEIRDOS. A treasure trove of stupidity... instant blog fodder!

See for yourself... this is just a sampling. I have a hangover and I'm tired of taking screenshots. Ha. 

Ain't no Sunshine when she's gone. Buh-bye.

Thanks for caring about a woman you've never met, 
Donald (and never will). I, however, give zero f*cks!

I'll give you my thoughts for free. NO THANKS, DAD.

He wins the prize for most flattering adjectives 
in one run-on sentence (sans punctuation).

Huh? I didn't visit your profile, loser!

Thanks for the compliments, Henry, 
but this kitty got claws. MEOW-CH.